The Balancing Act (Repost)


It's been a while since I've blogged about my personal life.  And all of that was well within good reason.  I've been known to go off on tangents about a small incident, thus making it a huge issue.  Then there's the issue of never knowing who actually reads everything that circulates on the world-wide-web.  But who cares?  Here's my rant for the day:

Lately, I've been noticing that since I've said "I Do," life has presented a few changes.  Everything between my husband and I has been beautiful thus far (thank God) but my relationships with others has been quite different on many levels.  See, before I got married I used to hear friends and family say all the time, "you're not gonna have time for us once you get married."  But now it seems like I have plenty of time for my friends and family, they just don't have time for me!  Maybe I'm being a big baby about all this, but no one answers their phone anymore.  It takes people hours upon hours to text me back.  No one ever wants to hang out, grab lunch, or even hold a conversation longer than ten minutes anymore.  What gives?

Perhaps everyone is over me and my marriage.  Or maybe they are over my wedding, lol.  I can understand that.  But still, I wish that I could talk with someone about how everything in life is going otherwise.  The school semester is winding up and summer is coming so it would be nice to plan a few vacations and schedule some beach time with SOMEBODY.  I feel like everybody just got over me.

My husband has his own social life, which has always been a consistent one because he is way more family-oriented than I am.  Though he works all the time and doesn't seem to enjoy the company of others as much as I do, he always seems to find something to do to relax and enjoy down-time.  I, on the other hand, am not as lucky.

I equate a bit of this unluckiness with the fact that as a mother and a wife, my identity is perceived by society as one that keeps me at home taking care of domestic duties.  A man's identity, however, does not change just because he gets married or has children.  My husband's friends never question whether his schedule is free in spite of his wife or children but my schedule is always questioned because I have a husband and children.

So all of this poses two questions for me:  Do all of my friends feel that I am no longer "fun" to hang with because I'm married?  And does my new role as wife automatically mean that my social life should suffer?  What does all of this mean for me?

I'm sure the fact that I have a birthday next month affects my feelings on all of this.  I am getting one year older and there is so much in life that I have not yet accomplished.  I had a plan and several goals that are not aligning with my place in life now.  Though I do not regret anything I have done in my life thus far, I feel like I still have such a long way to go.  Just yesterday I was looking at my bucket list I created during my 31 day reset and realized people my age have probably done many of the items on my list at least twice already!
 
I just feel so all over the place with this!  I'm lonely in a four-person household, I feel like my social-life is now nonexistent, and I feel so unaccomplished at 25.  Is anyone else out there feeling this same way?  Has anyone else ever experienced these feelings and can give me some tips on how to get over this?

Maybe a spa date solo will cure all this?  Please tell me it will?!!

from the archives 
April 2011
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