Tonight I feel like talking about successes. I have talked quite a bit about feeling down so I decided to switch up subjects just a little bit. The flip side of feeling like an underachiever is basking in the overwhelming happiness of accomplishment. It feels great to land that new position, purchase that first home or new car, and to finally get a raise. But sometimes, just sometimes, when the universe smiles at you, others are frowning and rolling their eyes. And the sad reality is you often don't have to look far for haters. They can be right in your own backyard. They play the role of your friends, your close family members, your colleagues, and other associates.
It is easy for these types of people to be around when you are down (the opposite of fair weather friends) because they get satisfaction from seeing you at your lowest. But as soon as you come up, they start throwing shade and shooting daggers. I'm sure somebody out there can relate to what I'm saying.
For example, I once had an acquaintance. Initially we shared the common interest of school- that's about it. But the more we began to talk after classes and between classes, I found that we had a lot in common. We both liked to write, to read, and had loyal love for hip-hop music. I thought I had found a true friend in her. I met her during a time that things were going downhill in my life. My boyfriend at the time and I weren't getting along, I was unemployed, my interest in school had flopped, and I had a laundry list of personal problems. Because she was there for me during those times, I felt that she was a true friend. I dropped my guard and showed my vulnerability to her. However, everything was going right in her life. She had an awesome job, brand new car, and cool new boyfriend. In all sincerity I was truly as happy for her as I could be, trusting that one day things would fall into place with my own life.
Time progressed and our friendship became more about her than about me. We always talked about her, did things according to her wants and needs, and admired her beautiful life, because (according to her) my life was too depressing to even speak about. I began to lose myself being so enveloped in supporting her.
But inevitably, my season came. My love life was getting better. My hard work paid off and I got a better job. I had good grades. I got a new car. And I moved to a new location!!!! Things were finally starting to look up for me! But that same happiness I extended to my friend was not reciprocated. She did not seem at all happy for me. She found a million things wrong with my new job. She made jokes about my car. And for every bit of happiness that I did receive, she found some flaw in it. She was really being nasty, but I did not realize what was going on. I started listening to her and believing that things were too good to be true.
In short, listening to this "friend" caused me to miss out on a lot of golden opportunities and burn quite a few bridges, all because I thought she had my best interest at heart. But before it was too late, I started really seeing what she was doing. Things I had that she made fun of, she started purchasing for herself. She was wearing her hair like me, dressing like me, and trying to mimic some of the same things I was doing. The final straw was when my boyfriend and I started taking our relationship to the next level and hers told her he was not interested in marrying her. Every day she had something negative to say about my boyfriend. As time passed, it became difficult to be around her. I tried to offer a shoulder to lean on with no avail. She just tried to make me feel as miserable as she was because we all know misery loves company. Needless to say, our friendship fell apart and we parted ways.
If you are still with me after all of this reading, I really appreciate it. I said all of this to say that sometimes in life, the people we believe to be closest to us cannot handle our success and good fortune. We all have to know whenever these people are being sincere and when they are just trying to sabotage our success and happiness. Thinking back on this failed friendship reminds me of an old TLC track I used to listen to called "The Case of The Fake People." As T-Boz sang in the bridge "they don't want you to win that race. 'Cuz if you do it's gonna lessen their space." That's why we must all carefully choose our friends and eliminate people from our lives that don't add positivity to it.
Have any of you ever experienced anything like this? If so, please share!