I have been dealing with an issue for quite some time now involving forgiveness. I've been dealing with hurt caused by a loved one's actions (or lack thereof) for way too long, so I've made a proactive choice to stop dealing with it. Every now and again I don't mind getting in my feelings on the blog, but this one will take some time to discuss further. But I will share with you guys that I have decided to let the hurt go and forgive that person.
Some people may think I'm crazy for letting it go and discarding the animosity I have for the person go. But it's time to move on with my life and get rid of the baggage that being upset with someone can make you carry around.
Here is my two cents on why I think we should forgive others:
- We don't have the right to do otherwise. God forgives us and He doesn't keep score with how many times we've turned our backs on Him. He loves us unconditionally and forgives our sins, though we don't deserve it. In addition to forgiving us, through His grace and mercy, He continues to bless us. So if He forgives us and blesses us abundantly (though we don't give Him nearly enough credit), what room do we have to complain about what we have done for folks who have yet to repay us. Who are we to hold grudges against someone who has wronged us several years ago (and has probably forgotten what they have done)? Which leads us to number two.
- We're doing it for us, not them. If any of you are familiar with the "Madea" franchise you probably have heard her give that speech about forgiveness being for ourselves and not for those who have hurt us. Though I may not agree with all things Madea, I do agree with that speech she gave. Oftentimes we hold grudges against people so hard and for so long, it hardens our hearts. It makes it hard to let others inside our hearts. It makes it hard to form healthy relationships with others. And believe it or not, your grudge probably isn't even affecting the person you're mad at. You're losing sleep, frowning, and having heart palpitations all while the other person isn't even thinking about you. So do yourself a favor and give number three a shot.
- We could turn that negative experience into something positive. What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. Do you believe that? Every test and trial we go through gives us strength, endurance, and character. Has a friend ever betrayed you? Well instead of mad at that sister, be thankful that she showed you her true colors before she was able to do worse damage. Has a lover ever broke your heart? Did you ever think about the fact that he/she might have just been an obstacle in your path to Mr./Mrs. Right? All I'm trying to say here is that sometimes we have to go through a few things to appreciate the good that comes from it. That failed friendship might have taught you how to appreciate a good friend. That failed relationship may have given you time to polish up your own act so that you will be ready to love and appreciate a good mate when he or she comes to you. No matter what you go through, always try to find a positive way to look at it. Your heart will thank your mind for it, trust me.
I hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed typing it. Learning to forgive will definitely be a process, but remembering these three things will help the healing process go smoother. As always, be encouraged, and thanks for taking the time to read my two cents.