Though I lost my father last year, I felt like I lost him all over again when my husband lost his father in October. Life is scary like that. You grow attached to folks and learn to love them just before you discover that harsh realities like sickness in the form of Dementia and Gastrointestinal Cancer are gonna take those loved ones away from you. Your childhood friends get slain in the streets by gang members who don't even know what it means to be gang-affiliated. You look around to learn all of your girlfriends growing up are either dead, institutionalized, or caught up in the system that is designed for your failure. You also discover that the same friends you may have had in the beginning of the year who were cheering for you when days were sunny and resources were in abundance will be the same ones who will walk out on you when the dark days appear and sadness looms. People I once trusted turned their back on me. People who carried my secrets from my home now parade with them on their tongues in the streets. Like Celie's step father told her in the beginning of "The Color Purple" I must learn to "tell nobody but God" some things. This, however, is life. You live and you learn. Indeed, in 2011, I have learned to trust in the Most High God, and He has carried me every step of the way (though I am stubborn and think I know it all).
In 2011 I have grown closer with many of my family members and have even reacquainted with some people from my past. That has been a blessing in and of itself. Though often we adopt that "we don't need anybody" mentality after failed friendships and relationships, the reality of it all is that NOBODY CAN MAKE IT OUT HERE ALONE. Maya Angelou said it best. I am thankful that for all I have been through, and I have had the support of some amazing people. You all know who you are and I love and appreciate you for that!
In 2011, I have also flirted with the idea of following my dreams and dreaming big, in spite of everything. Sometimes, when you are a young woman with 2 elementary school aged children, people advise you to be practical and give up your dreams, especially if you hope to pursue a non-traditional career. Everyone that's anyone can advise you to finish your degrees or get hooked up with the most convenient 9-5 if they are not footing the bill. But despite all of the negativity, the doubt, and the naysayers, I am on my way to living the biggest, best life that I possibly can for my family. I can't give any details just yet, just stay tuned, loves :-)
In 2011, your girl married the man of her wildest dreams. Yes my lovely husband J had to have been hand-picked for me and I am so grateful for him. He understands all of my quirks and difficulties and still loves me unconditionally in spite of. Though he gets on my nerves and I work his nerves every chance I get, I am crazy about that guy. You will definitely see more of him in this upcoming year :-)
And one major thing that happened to me in 2011 is my involvement in the blogosphere. I started this blog in 2010, but I had no clue what I was doing, and many of my initial posts don't even make sense. This year I made the decision to nurture my blog and link up with other bloggers who shared the same interests as I. Who would have thought I would have came across such amazing sites such as Happy Black Woman, Sex, Love, Liberation, Femmes With Benefits, and No Boiz Allowed! The ladies that created these sites are nothing short of wonderful. I learned so much about myself and my interactions with others just by frequenting these sites. In addition, I came across some amazing bloggers! Kimberly, Soraya, Dee, Ashley, Jennifer, Tammy, LV, Michelle, Ro, Deja (Daisy), Dreek, Kahlil, Nicole Alicia, Tamara, Galaxia, Silvana and many others, you guys are nothing short of awesome! I can't wait until the day I actually get to meet some of you. You guys have shown me so much love out here and I really appreciate it. How much, you will never know!
And as far as the blog goes, I have to show my love and appreciation for my dearest mother Nita P, my besties Tawanda and Nadya Nataly, and my loving brother JR for actually supporting me and my writing efforts. Out of all the people in my world, you four are the only ones who have shown love and support everything I write. I love you guys more than words on a blog or in person could express.
This year, I have learned so much about life, love, relationships, loss, and friendship. I am grateful for all of the lessons learned, and I pray to God that I am wise enough that I passed many of the lessons with flying colors. Some of them don't need to be repeated. Though I don't believe in setting New Year's Resolutions, I have jump-started activities for many of my life goals last month as well as this month. I plan on doing more with my family, community, career, health and fitness, and my spiritual journey. You will definitely see more of me and my journey through life in my upcoming posts. And if ever you have any questions (or suggestions) about the blog or anything I'm doing here, feel free to send me an email or drop a comment. I'm really friendly and easy to get along with :-)
I love you guys and thank you sincerely for rocking with me, for reading all of my crazy ideas (makeup looks, fashion looks, life lessons, overdoing of the music videos and songs when you're at work in the office lol, and all of my other bits of knowledge), for following my blog, and for just stopping by and leaving a comment to let me know you were here. It means so much to the girl that was always told her writing doesn't make sense, no one would ever be interested in reading her blog, or she would never do anything productive outside of procreating. You guys motivate me :-)