How I Deal With Adversity


A while back in my Blog On Fire Award post, I inadvertently ignored the rules by offering you guys a chance to ask me questions.  One question I received from the lovely fellow blogger Michelle over at Radiant Brown Beauty was this:

"When you face a trial that you feel nobody can help with, how do you handle it?"

It took me a minute to come up with an answer for this. Mostly in part because I rarely discuss trials and issues with anyone as it is.  I'm one of those types who chooses to handle issues internally, seeking answers from within, before speaking to anyone.  And if I'm really stressed, I only discuss personal matters with one of three people:  my mother, my brother, or my husband.  But more often than not, I'm looking to face trials solo dolo, with a little help from God, of course.


I know this seems like the cookie-cutter answer, but it is true. Anytime I am faced with situations that seem to be more than I can bear, I turn to God.  I pray for strength, understanding, and direction.  I go to His word and seek his answers.  That's what I've been taught to do since I was young, as my mother kept our family in the church, and that's the only thing that works for me.

For example, some years back, I was faced with a difficult decision.  The decision I made would cause me to leave the comfort of my once-happy home, lose my primary source of income, and eventually force me to move back to my childhood home with my children in tow.  Lost and ashamed, I felt that I had no one to turn to.  Friends I thought would be there for me grew distant.  Family members who once offered help withdrew their resources.  I felt like I had hit rock bottom.  I won't go too deep into detail, because this is still a sensitive subject for me, but there was really no where to go but up for me.  After a few weeks of laying in a funk, I started to pray.  That's all I knew to do.

At first, I thought God wouldn't listen to my prayers.  I had stopped going to church, I wasn't even thinking about paying any tithes, and the lifestyle I was leading was less than stellar.  I was really feeling like the prodigal daughter.  But I stepped out on my faith (the size of a mustard seed) and I asked God for forgiveness.  I asked him to "clean me up" from the inside out, and give me direction.  When I tell you guys that I had NOTHING going on, I mean NOTHING for real.  But God stepped in and changed all that.

I didn't tell anyone my feelings or struggles but God.  And he came to my rescue.  He also sent people into my life that would help me to overcome my many obstacles and begin to live a better life.  Resources poured out from nowhere.  Debts I had were paid in full.   A job I wasn't qualified for fell into my lap.  An opportunity of a lifetime came right up to my doorstep (or shall I say my mother's) and knocked loudly upon her door.  And I knew it was nothing but God.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that I was such a fine specimen that God just poured blessing upon blessing down to my feet.  In fact, I'm saying just the opposite. I felt I was nothing, that I wasn't good enough for anything or anyone worth having.  But God renewed something in me, and restored something in me I never knew I had.  Me, little old me, stepped out on faith and believed that He would help me and He did in more ways than I imagined.  That's why I give him the credit and the praise for everything good in my life.

So there's my answer in a roundabout way.  When faced with a trial, I turn to God. He is the only one who I can depend on for all of my needs.  He won't disappoint me, turn on me, forsake me, or try to hurt me.  He loves me unconditionally when I don't even have the sense to love myself.  So for everything, I turn to Him.

Thank you Michelle for the thought-provoking question, and thank you to anyone who stopped by to read!

The Weekend Lover: Maxwell

How can you not love a face like that?  I fell in love, first with his voice while riding in my cousin's car after school one day.  Ascension (Don't Ever Wonder) was playing on the radio and she was singing each lyric to the top of her lungs.  I begged her to turn the volume up, partly to tune her out, but mostly to hear more of what this man with the beautiful voice was singing about.  Weeks later, she had Maxwell's Urban Hang Suite on cassette tape and we were able to listen to all of his songs as many times as we wanted to.  Well, at least until she dropped me off.

Since I've taken a trip back down memory lane, I decided to share a few of my Maxwell faves with you guys.  Hope you don't mind!







Are you feeling the Maxwell love?  If so, what is your favorite Maxwell song?
What are you listening to this weekend?

More La La Inspired Fashion

What Ever Happened To.. Willie Max?


Do you guys remember the group Willie Max from the 90's?  They were proteges of Raphael Saadiq.  I recall them having this one song (which was on the Ride soundtrack) and I never heard from them again.  It's a shame too, because they had beautiful such beautiful voices.

Here is the video for their single "Can't Get Enough"


Do you remember this song?  Or do you know what happened to these ladies?

Pink Wednesday 10/19

Check the pink nails!













Are you rocking pink nails today?

Introducing the Weekend Lover: Ginuwine


Those of you who have been following me know that I love doing my dose of diva on Mondays, featuring songs by my favorite divas.  This has been a great way to start the week off for me.  Now in giving the ladies so much love at the beginning of the week, I noticed I haven't been giving my weekend lovers any shine.

"Ok Dre, what are you talking about?" some of you may be thinking.  But on the weekends, when I'm laid back and in my chill state, I love to listen to an R&B tune from the best of them.  When I'm at home and able to let my hair down, I like to get caught up in a good book, a nice bottle of wine, and a tantalizing baritone seeping through the speakers.  So let me introduce to you my weekend lovers (posts).  First off is Ginuwine.

I don't know if I ever told you guys this, but I used to have the biggest crush on Ginuwine back in the day.  I mean, I was obsessed.  Ask any of my cousins or siblings who used to laugh at me for having his picture framed on my nightstand in my younger days.  Anyways, today I was on my Ginuwine flow so I just wanted to share a few of my favorite tracks with you.

La La Inspired Fashion

What Ever Happened To.. Blu Cantrell?


I know the ladies have to remember Miss Blu Cantrell. She sang the ode to women scorned on the R&B charts of 2001.  It was her that gave women the advice to charge up the credit cards of their cheating mates, in the event of their infidelity.  The single, "Hit 'Em Up Style", gave all wronged women a new anthem, advising them to hit up Neiman-Marcus and make that cheating man pay for his cheating via his BANK ACCOUNT.

Can you believe that was ten years ago?  After that single, I never heard anything more from Miss Blu (other than a photo I won't discuss here) or her Hit 'Em Up style. I wonder what she's doing these days.  Do any of you guys know?


In the meantime, check out Blu's video for "Hit 'Em Up Style" here:

The Answer Is Yes: Thank You, Musiq


There are no words for my appreciation of this video.  It truly touched my heart.  Do what you can, ladies and gentlemen, to support the cause.  Whether it be through advocacy, donations, or through your own sweat and tears, do something.  I say this on behalf of my grandmother who is a survivor and my dear auntie that lost the battle in 2008.
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