One Word 2016 | INTENTIONAL

What does "setting the tone for the new year" mean to you? Are you writing down goals for each month? Are you making vision boards to create the visual for the goals? Are you sharing your goals and ideas for personal development with supportive friends and family?

February Wishes

And just like that, February is upon us. Just yesterday, I was pulling pictures from magazines, highlighting inspirational quotes, and perfecting my vision board. I was agonizing over lists of plans, ideas, and aspirations, only to find myself overwhelmed.

 Last month, I decided I would abandon the idea of making resolutions all because 2014 didn't go as smoothly as I had planned. But then, as I began writing in my journal this morning (and rereading entries from previous months), I realized my plans, though well-intentioned, were terribly flawed. The first problem was that I had not fully surrendered my life nor my life's plans to Christ. As much as I've prayed and asked God to do this or work that out, I had not stopped to listen or acknowledge the plans He had for my life. Secondly, I simply was not putting in the work (nor did I have enough faith in myself or God to see things through). Now, as I take these two things into consideration, it seems I was doomed to fail from the start. How many of you guys have dealt with this same issue?

August Wishes

Hello, beautiful people! Are you as stoked about the arrival of August as I am? I'm always excited about the beginning of a new month. For me (and many others I'm sure), it ushers in a fresh start. As we pull last month's calendar sheet away, we get the opportunity to chart our progress from last month's goals and prepare to create new goals for the month before us. 

Being a mom, I always look at the arrival of August as the time to prepare the kids for school. Even though they don't return for several weeks, it still seems like the time to bring summer events to a close and begin focusing on the next school year. So with the summer coming to an end and the school year approaching, it's time to prepare for a change in my family's schedules.

Here are my wishes for this week:

1. Make more pretty things. I've been obsessing over making pretty things lately. If I'm not revamping something around the house, I'm working on a DIY project I found on Pinterest. My latest project is an online boutique that I am currently working out the kinks on. I'll be sharing more about that with you guys next week. Thanks so much Donna for that extra push I so desperately needed ;-) But in the meantime, my goal is to make everything around me (and my loved ones) more beautiful. 

2. Stay in the middle of reading a good book. Thanks to Megan over at Semi-Charmed Kind of Life, I've been reading a lot lately. Her summer reading challenge has pulled me out of my comfort zone of always reading self-help books and African American Lit. My goal is to always be in the middle of a good read or two from now on. It really helps sharpen the mommy brain!

3. Keep exercising. One of the hardest yet most fulfilling goals I had last month was exercising. I know that sounds pretty lazy of me, doesn't it? But I find it so hard to stick to a routine! Fortunately, I gained a workout partner and joined a local gym that really motivates me to keep pushing. My goal is to keep going on schedule and stay pumped about it. 

4. Create "back-to-school" goals with the kids. Since I have been charting my goals and writing down my weekly ambitions, my children have been compelled to do the same---especially my daughter. After having a talk about setting realistic goals and intentions, they thought it would be great to create goals for the upcoming school year. So goal-setting we shall do!

5. Unplug on the weekends. Last month, I made a goal to unplug at least once a week. And just a few days after creating that goal, my computer went nuts! This frenzy created an unintentional blog break for me. And while I really missed my blog, I was much more productive around the house and in other areas. So by the suggestion of blogger friend Mimi, I will be unplugging from Friday night to Monday morning. Hopefully this will help me better manage my time.

6. Continue to write something daily. Even on the days I don't feel like writing, keeping up with my gratitude journal and prayer journal seem like more than enough to keep me jotting something down. And if my to-do lists count, I'm always writing something lol. 

7. Plan a summer's end celebration for the family. Hubby thinks it's a great idea to have a cookout or get-together before the little ones return to school. So I'm in full brainstorming mode for that. Any ideas, anyone?

What are your current goals?

 Let me know in the comments!

May's Wishes

Hey guys, I'm back! Did you all miss me? I know it's been a while, and for that I do apologize. I've really missed you all and hope to get all caught up in the blogosphere soon!

Since I left off with a weekly wishes post, and May is a very special month for me, I decided to share my monthly wishes with you as well.

1. Do something special for my birthday. I don't have any major plans for my birthday this year and haven't for the last couple of years. And I'm not trying to do anything big this year, but I do hope to celebrate in some way or another with my favorite people. I've been working on my 30 by 30 list steadily as well, so I hope to have a few more items crossed off my list by my prelude to 30 at the end of the month.

2. Work on fitness as a family unit. Trying to eat healthy seems to be a struggle around my home. For years I have been making a variation of two different meals (per night) as my husband and I don't like the same foods. And now that I'm attempting to eat healthier, it's harder to get creative with meals and still appease my husband and children. I hope to overcome this challenge by the end of this month because I have no plans on increasing my grocery budget. Any tips, ladies and gents?

3. Have "girl's night" each week with Gabs. We recently grabbed up this cute little book by the American Girl series called "Just Mom & Me" that contains some of the coolest activities for girls to do with their moms. Though we've done a few of the activities, I want to get a little more routine with our quality time spent together. With my oldest son involved in sports this season and Jj getting most of the attention around the house, it's imperative that I make sure I carve in special time for just me and baby girl.

4. Spend quality time with my girlfriends. Life gets overwhelming sometimes. And sometimes it sucks because I feel like I don't have an outlet from my family life. I really could use a few lunch dates and girl talks this month.  I really miss my girls.

5. Make (more)  pretty things. Thanks to Pinterest and Youtube, I've been on a creative kick lately. I can't wait to share with you all some of the things I've been making. And to keep my creative momentum rolling, I'm making a commitment to create at least one pretty thing each week.

6. Plan a vacation. It's always fun to plan a vacation for the family, even if I have no clue when we will be able to take one. I'm hoping we will be able to tackle at least one weekend getaway for the early summer.

7. Create a "self-care" plan. Sometimes when we take on a lot, carry on a lot of responsibilities, and make it our mission to make everyone around us happy, we often forget to make sure we are at 100%. Back in my SW days at UNCW, we did self-care check-ins each week. We told our field instructors at least one thing we did for ourselves during the week prior to meeting. I'm making a point to do something each week and for accountability purposes, I might even share a bit about them here on the blog, on my FB page, or over on Insta.

And a brief update about last month's wishes:

I can honestly say I've accomplished each of the wishes. Well, sorta. In April, I hoped to get my blogging life together. That resulted in an unplanned blogging break. I needed to be centered and focused with a few personal things going on with me, so blogging took an unexpected backseat. However, I have been writing almost everyday, whether it's been a poem, a prayer, or a brief anecdote. I learned that I never really lost my inspiration to write last month, I just became so overwhelmed in other areas that I could not focus on completing anything.

With the help of a fitness challenge between J and I along with YouTube (namely BeFit, Blogilates, and Tiffany Rothe), I've also been exercising regularly. My goal is to get some activity in daily and gain a partner (or support group) by my birthday.

The children have really enjoyed spending time with God daily, and have even made a habit of getting in devotion time nightly thanks to these books.

I've done a lot of spring cleaning literally and figuratively and am now making strides to throw out 50 things each week, so that I don't get bogged down with that much clutter ever again.

And I've been reading some great books lately, too. Be on the lookout for a post about them soon!

What are some things you wish to accomplish this week? 

This month?

Tell me all about them in the comments! 

Weekly Wishes #1

Hello loves! How is everyone doing? I hope all is well with each of you! As for me, all is well on my end. I've been doing a bit of self-reflection these last few weeks, and I'm looking for a spiritual break-through to happen any moment now. Do you ever feel yourself getting "out-of-sync" with everything going on around you? Well that's sort of what's been happening to me. I've been so consumed with what's going on (and what isn't going on) around me that I haven't been taking the best care of myself. So I'm working to become more proactive about that.

But on to other things, I've recorded my weekly to-do list and decided to share the main objectives with you guys this week. Hopefully you will want to share a few items on your list with me in the comments. Maybe you'll even be moved to offer some tips, encouragement, advice, and or resources with me as well!

1. Spend time with God each day as a family unit. Together, my children and I have created a weekly family devotional plan. And I couldn't be more excited to get started with it today. Though I've been researching ways to actively spend more time with Him as a family for a while, it felt good to get the children involved in the planning stage. They have their materials and resources ready!

2. Clean up the yard. My yard could definitely use some TLC. Anyone riding along the highway could tell me that. So I've included getting dirty and cleaning this mess up in my to-do list this week. I have flowers and trees to plant along with weeds to kill. And I can't wait to add a few more items to my honey-do list for hubby to complete lol.

3. Re-organize and re-purpose the "room at the end of the hall." One part of spring cleaning that I want to get accomplished this week is organizing the pink bedroom. I have a few ideas in mind (thanks to Pinterest) and I am bringing my daughter along for the ride.

4. Spring clean my closet. Just like the last few items on the list, cleaning my closet is imperative. This will probably take more than a week at the rate I usually go. Maybe I'll add this to the on-going monthly to-do list.

5. Read a book. Since my latest obsession with Korean Drama has devoured all of my free-time, I haven't read one single book. And that is so unlike me! This week I'm trying to get lost in a good read and get back in the habit of doing so regularly. Does anyone have any suggestions? And if you're as obsessed with KDrama as I am, what are your favorite dramas?

6. Tighten up my writing/blogging life. I have a writing project that has been sitting on my desk for a month. I need to get on that so I can share it with you guys! I also want to get back to writing something every day--even if it's just a journal entry. How do you guys go about finding writing inspiration?

7. Finalize Relay for Life fundraising efforts. I'm excited to be a part of Relay for Life again this year. It feels good to give time supporting and giving time to something my family and I are passionate about. I have a few plans for fundraising that I hope to discuss with my team a little more this week.

8. Exercise. I haven't committed to any exercise in forever. So I'm reintroducing myself to more physical activity by doing at least 15 minutes of cardio each day this week. If I can do that, I can get back in the swing of things sooner than I think!

What are your wishes for the week?

Tell me all about them in the comments.

One Word 2014: FEARLESS

Last year, I shared candidly with you guys here on the blog about my visions and creating a vision board for 2013. I was thrilled by the idea of allowing my visions to manifest through creating my vision board--- pinning things to my corkboard in alignment with aspirations I've set for myself. And while I enjoyed this process, it was quite tedious. I was focused on creating the perfect board in hopes that everything I placed on the board were intentional and would remind me daily of the things I needed to do to create the bigger, better version of myself and my life.

The vision board was very helpful for me. However, when a few of the goals didn't pan out the way I hoped, I grew disappointed with myself. When I found out I was pregnant in February, I felt that some of the goals I set for myself were almost impossible. And thus became the downward spiral of my goal-oriented and ambitious 2013.

While I'm still using my corkboard to envision my dreams daily, I decided not to create an entirely different one. I just swapped out some of the pins that symbolized ambitions I had already achieved or some that I was no longer interested in manifesting. I wanted to create something else to supplement my vision board. Something else to keep me in alignment with my goals, without all of the added pressure. Then I found inspiration from one of my fellow blogger friends.

Last month when chatting it up with Tiffany per the AskAwayFriday link-up, we briefly talked about goals for 2014. She informed me that instead of setting goals, she was setting the tone for the upcoming year with one word. Yes, ladies and gentlemen. One word. Thinking of one word to usher in the new year sounded much better than coming up with a list of things to do that I would soon abandon come March, so I decided to read along with Tiffany here and see what her one word resolution was all about. It was here that I learned about Michelle, a fellow BLMGirl and SBGC member over at Divas With a Purpose, and her take on using one word to set the tone for the new year.

Not only did Michelle share her one word intention on the post, she added a link-up to her post, encouraging other bloggers to do the same.

"Use one word to describe your focus and intentions for the year," 
they said. 

"It would be fun," they said.

As I began to read through my notebook and examine the goals and ambitions I have set for myself recently, I saw that they all had a common theme. The only thing that was stopping me from accomplishing the items that have yet to be crossed off from the list was FEAR. And we all know that fear can be a crippling thing, if we allow it to set in and spread throughout our thoughts.

From now on, I want to be FEARLESS. I want to take the first step. I want to see new sights. I want to master the trades I've grown passionate about. I want to ask for help and knock on new doors--- even if people greet me with a "no." Fear of rejection, fear of failure, and fear of the unknown will slowly but surely lose their place in my heart.

For further encouragement, I will pray and meditate on Phillippians 4:6-7 daily:

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Has fear been getting in the way of your goals and ambitions? If you feel where I'm coming from, let me know in the comments section! We can help strengthen and encourage each other!  And if you have in mind one word that illustrates your intentions and focus for your ideal life, be sure to share those in the comments, too. I can't wait to hear from you!

Much love and many blessings, 

photo source

2013 in Review + Intro to 2014

I really meant to have this post together before now. It is currently the dawn of a new day and year, as 2014 is upon us! I'm so thankful to be here still rocking with you all. 2013 was a great year, full of discovery and surprises. Though I've had a few misses, I can still say that 2013 was good to me. As a way of charting my progress and gearing up for 2014, I am doing Rosetta Thurman's Annual Review (courtesy of Happy Black Woman) for the second time.  It has been quite helpful to me, so I wanted to share my review in hopes that you may want to do the same.

What I Want to Remember About 2013 

What was the most valuable lesson I learned this year? This year, I really learned how to trust the Lord in all things. When I found out hubby and I were pregnant with baby #3, I was so unprepared. I wondered and worried about how that would change our family dynamic. God showed up and showed me that if I trusted Him, He would make a way for my husband and I to provide for our growing family. Throughout my pregnancy, we experienced quite a few challenges. But God interceded, made a way out of no way, and blessed us with a healthy baby boy, among other things. I'm just in awe of how amazing He has been to us.

What was the best book and/or movie I discovered this year? Reading The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz was such an eye-opening experience for me. It was about more that reading a few lines and vowing to live by their precepts. It invited me to a new way of thinking. I saw how making assumptions and taking things personally have caused me to make damaging decisions in the past. It has also encouraged me to be impeccable with my word (whether it be spoken or written) and to always do my personal best. Everyone should read it!

The Best Man Holiday has been the movie of the year for me. Watching the cast members grow from their 1999 roles to deal with matters of the heart, experiencing ups & downs in their careers, and terminal illness really made me pay attention to the things going on within me and in the lives of those around me. Seeing The Best Man Holiday was like a call to action for me. I needed to understand that for every peak we hit in life, valleys will also come. Nothing is constant. Seasons change in every aspect, including friendships. No one is ever too immersed in "living" that they shouldn't reach out and connect with someone. You'll never know how much they need you or how much you need them if you don't. I learned many of these lessons the hard way this year, so this movie was a very emotional one for me. It was something I really needed to see illustrated though. It did my heart good.

What was the biggest personal milestone I reached this year? I think I've matured a lot as a wife this year. Though I've spent the last ten years of my life in love with J and the last 2 years married to him, I believe that this year has been more essential to our growth as a couple than others. We've seen some stressful times this year. But finding my place in my marriage, being secure as his wife, and most importantly consulting God and praying for my marriage have really kept things moving smoothly around here. I've been known to crack under pressure when dealing with a lot of things, but with this-- I've vowed to hold this spot down until death do us part. And I will :)

 What I Want to Leave Behind As I Enter 2014 

Which goals did I make the least progress on this year? 2013 was supposed to be the year of networking and connecting with other creatives, bloggers, and people with whom I shared similar interests. When finding out I was having a baby, I used that as an excuse to become stagnant. I didn't go out and network as much as I wanted to, nor did I take the opportunities to cultivate my interests into something greater. I broke those promises to myself, so I will definitely have to make amends. I owe myself that much.

What did I do in 2013, if anything, that was out of alignment with my values? It's not necessarily what I did in 2013 that wasn't in alignment with my values. It's more of what I didn't do. I value community and family immensely. However, I didn't really do anything in 2013 to uplift or further build my "back yard" in ways that I know I can. I've been presented with a couple of opportunities recently, so I'm hoping to work closer with my "back yard" and really make a difference with my family and community.

Gabs and J at Relay for Life 2013

What I Want to Bring Into My Life in 2014

What do you deserve more of in 2014? In 2014, I believe I deserve more romance, date nights, lunch dates with friends, and weekend getaways with my family. I deserve to allow abundance and opportunity to pour into and envelope me. 

My brother + my babies during the holidays

What personal milestone(s) do you most want to reach this year in your relationships, health, family, finances, education and/or lifestyle?  I would bore you guys with resolutions like losing weight, eating healthier, spending more time with family + friends, and saving money, but I'm not. While I do want to do all those things, I feel that they are things I've been working on constantly. For a change, I want to be more adventurous in 2014. I'm going to be bold and ask for things, even if I'm afraid the answer may be know. I'm going to dive in and do things I'm terrified of doing. I'M GOING TO EMBRACE FEAR, DANCE WITH IT, AND DEFY IT. Period.

What professional accomplishments (at work or in your business) do you want to see for yourself this year? I don't want to share too much here and jinx the whole operation, so I will tell you all to stay tuned. I have some high hopes and hopefully, I will see some fruits of my laboring this year :)

What do you want to learn in 2014? I STILL want to learn to sew. Now I realize I've known a stellar instructor all along, so I can soon make this a reality!

What do you want to cross off of your bucket list in 2014? I want to cross off wearing a bikini to the beach, starting a vlog, and taking a pole fitness class (don't judge me lol).

What I Want My Blog to Look Like in 2014

I can't wait to share more with you guys this year. I embrace the opportunity to continue getting to know many of you! In the past, I've shared interests in music, thrifting, beauty and style here. This year, I hope to further engage you guys in all of these subjects even more. I plan to also share more about my family life, as I mentioned in prior posts. I feel such a joy in blogging, especially when I'm blogging about things that I'm passionate about. So while I want to share things that you guys enjoy reading, I must first make sure that these things are in alignment with my passions. 

I like to keep things easy breezy around here, but from time to time I may want to vent or beat my laptop to my heart's content about whatever is going on around me. Don't worry-- I won't turn the blog into Dear Diary or anything. I just hope you guys continue to rock with me through the good, the bad, and the ugly, should it come. I appreciate you all so much for continuing to read, comment, and engage with me here and on other social networks. I'm also very grateful for those of you who are new subscribers and liked what you saw here enough to continue on this journey with me. Stay tuned for the upcoming YouTube channel, too! 

Thanks for rocking with me in 2013 and still rocking with me in 2014! Y'all could have done anything in the world today, but you're taking a few minutes to mix it up with me. And I appreciate y'all for it! 

Powered by

Letting It Shine!

If you guys saw my last "life" update, you know that I was experiencing a bit of frustration.  My friends were disappearing, I was confused about what I wanted to do in life, and I was feeling so unaccomplished.  But as always, with a wing an a prayer (and some kind words from one of my fellow bloggers ;-) I slowly began to bounce back.  Getting myself out of the dumps about things meant understanding that everyone has setbacks.  I myself was no stranger to unfulfilled plans and goals.  But this is something that happens to any and everyone struggling to make a fabulous life for themselves.

Instead of dwelling on the things I have yet to accomplish, I started looking at the things I have committed to and completed.  I also commended myself for actually creating a plan for myself and trying my hardest to find ways to make a better life for me and my family.  I am also a good friend, daughter, sister, wife, mother, student, employee, and mentor.  That in and of itself deserves a pat on the back.

Looking at the positives is something I should already be accustomed to, as my training in Solution-Focused Therapy suggests that positive self talk gets us back to our "happy place."  However, advice we learn and know are not always easy to apply to our own lives.  But when the light-bulb finally came on, I started re-evaluating my life and all the wonderful things about it.

I also started enjoying my own company.  I had lunch by myself, got spa treatment by myself, and enjoyed a couple of quiet afternoons alone with some smooth neo-soul music.  This helped me to see that I was spending too much time beating myself up, as opposed to nurturing myself and taking care of me-spiritually, physically, and emotionally.  Now I'm back at it with working out and taking time to do a few self-care check-ins as often as I can.

Most importantly, I have come to realize that I have to let this ambition, passion, and driven spirit within me shine more.  When I see other people accomplishing goals that I have yet to attain, I have a tendency to shrink like a flower, as if I am measuring my success by someone else's.  I have to stop worrying about what others think about my progress and focus more on progressing in general.  I can either allow negative comments from so-called friends and family members to knock me down, or allow them to see the "in it to win it" spirit within that has helped me to progress this far. 

The words from one of my favorite songs "Shine" by Laura Izibor illustrates my emotions almost exactly.  I decided not to let my life go to waste trying to measure up to people's expectations or to live life on autopilot, letting all the "good times" happen to other people.  It's time that I let the light inside of me shine, not for others, but for me!

from the archives 

May 2011

My Vision Board + Goals for 2013

One of the main things we all do when the new year kicks in is set resolutions and goals for ourselves. Many of us are able to stick to a few of them, while others of us-- not so much.  And because of the latter, I'm not big on making new year's resolutions in the traditional sense.  

I realized with failed attempt after failed attempt to achieve my annual resolutions that perhaps I was going about the whole process wrong.  I wanted to set goals for myself, but I was growing tired of setting myself up for failure each time.  And that's when it hit me:  If I broke each of my goals down into small measurable tasks that could be completed monthly, weekly, or even daily, I could finally start achieving some goals and be on my way to my dream life sooner than imagined! Taking part in Happy Black Woman's 31 Days to Reset Your Life Program in the past and just recently in KimberlyLuxe's Life Reset have aided me in doing just that-- setting goals and crossing off accomplishments at a comfortable pace. And with the help of these two programs I was able to embark on a new journey of self-improvement with a renewed sense of confidence.

Why I Created a Vision Board

During the 31 Day Reset over at Happy Black Woman in 2011, Rosetta prompted us to create vision boards.  This board would be instrumental in helping us focus on our goals through visualization.  By being able to "see" our goals daily, in the form of images and words displayed on our boards, we would have no other choice but to remain focused on them!  We were also using the law of attraction, attracting those things we focus on in the board, to ourselves. In essence, creating a vision board was like making a road-map to my dreams.  All I had to do to get started on the journey was to lay the groundwork by creating the board.  Little did I know that it would be so helpful! With proper planning, focus, and prayer I saw many of the things on my board manifest my life.  And because creating my first vision board had proven so successful, I decided to make one each year or after each life-change.

How I Created the Vision Board

My vision board is made up of two components:  I have a cork board decorated with visuals as well as notebooks with the visions glued and taped to them.  I took the time to make note of my goals first.  A few of them were:

• Spending quality, uninterrupted time with my husband and children daily
• Devoting 30-45 minutes daily to exercise
• Reading at least 100 books in 2013
• Networking with other bloggers and hosting my own blogger event
• Contributing to and coordinating at least 3 community outreach efforts in my hometown
• Saving a portion of my income monthly for home ownership

After I took note of my goals, I searched through several magazines looking for images and words that aligned with those goals.  This was, perhaps, the most time-consuming part of creating the vision board. When I felt I had more than enough images, I started placing them on my boards and books with pins and glue.

How I Plan to Use My Vision Board

The most exciting aspect of creating my vision board this year was knowing I will have accountability partners.  Last month, I (along with several other women) signed up for the 2013 Vision Board Challenge hosted by the Regal Realness website.  In joining, not only did we create vision boards, we will also be completing monthly tasks for the rest of the year to keep us focused on our vision.  Isn't that cool?  I've also planned to help a few of my family members and friends create boards so that we can cheer each other along in our efforts.

Have any of you created a vision board for the year?  

Tell me all about it in the comments!

In 2011

source

2011 was an amazing year.  Despite all of the internal issues and struggles we have dealt with and continue to carry in our hearts, we lived to tell the stories.  Some may have endured more treacherous losses than others, but for the most part, we can all say we are happy to be here.