Installing a Lace Wig for Beginners | Featuring LUVME Hair

If you're new to wearing + installing lace front wigs at home, you'll want to read all about how I installed this beautiful loose wave lace wig I've been wearing lately as a protective style. While this post is a paid partnership with LUVME Hair, all thoughts and opinions about the hair + experience are my own. To read more about my disclosure policy, click here.

As I've mentioned before, I love wearing wigs and weaves as a protective style for my natural hair. Installing them at home saves so much time and money! And while many may think installing a wig at home is time-consuming for a beginner, I promise you it's easy-peasy! The style I'm sharing today is very beginner friendly, as you can get it already colored and pre-plucked. You also don't have to use any glue to apply this one, because I don't use glue on mine. I'll walk you through how easy it is to do so. 

SHE'S GOT THE LOOK | FEATURING LUVME HAIR LOOSE DEEP WAVE HEADBAND WIG

If you're like me and love a good wig, you'll want to read all about this affordable headband wig I've been wearing as a protective style to give my natural hair a break. While this post is a paid partnership with LUVME Hair, all thoughts and opinions about the hair + experience are my own. To read more about my disclosure policy, click here.

It's no secret that we love a good wig around here. As much as I love my natural tapered cut, I always make sure to protect my natural hair as often as I can, as well. Usually my protective styles of choice are quick-weaves and wigs. But quite honestly, I don't always want to play around with a lace-front wig to make sure my edges are laid, my part is plucked, and there's enough concealer applied "like-so" to make sure it's presentable for the public. So, when I found out about LUVME Hair's headband wig line, I became curious. Installing a wig in a New York minute without any prep work and she's good to go? That's my kind of protective style!

BEAUTY | 3 Ways to Update Your Look

This shop has been compensated by Schwarzkopf. #got2bMetallic #mebyme #sponsored

As a beauty blogger who had recently fallen into a beauty rut, I have realized how much a beauty update can turn things around! Something as simple as purchasing a new lipstick or changing the color of your hair can really boost your confidence. Not to mention, it can give you a reason to share your creativity with those around you.

Today, I want to share three easy ways to update your look in a way that allows you to express your most bold, creative self. If you're like me, you've found yourself stuck in a beauty rut more times than a few. Why not try some new ways to share your creativity and look cute while doing it?

Hair Journey Update: Winter 2014

Hey guys-- do you know what today is? Today marks my first hair journey update of the year! While my relaxed hair care regimen has remained the same for the most part, I've seen a few changes in my hair over the last few months. While most of the subtle changes are positive, others have been a bit disappointing. On the brighter side of things, I've experienced some growth, I'm even more in tune with what my hair needs, and I'm finally buckling down with my consistency. On a sad note, however, I've experienced some postpartum shedding and thinning edges. I'll get into that in a minute, though. Thank you all for continuing to check in and read about my updates. Sharing them here have really helped with my goals! Now on to the good stuff!

Hair Stats

Last relaxer: February 15, 2014

Next relaxer: May 24, 2014
Last Trim: January 21, 2014

Current Length: slightly APL (after trim)

Current Goals:

1. Obtain overall thickness, as opposed to length.

2. Grow back crown breakage. 

3. Try new low-manipulation hairstyles 

(twist-outs and braid-outs) ✓

4. Stick to my routine! Remain consistent in my hair care. ✓

5. Keep it simple- moisturize and seal. cleanse. deep condition. ✓

In remaining consistent, I must make sure to stick to these tasks:

1. Use little to no direct heat.

2. Moisturize + seal and wear bonnet each night.

3. Deep condition weekly under the dryer.

4. Massage scalp with Hair Trigger 2-3x weekly.

5. Apply JBCO to edges and ends nightly.

6. Use what I have- no purchasing of any new products. 

Exception: running out of staples.

The Stretch

Prior to February 15, 2014, my last relaxer was on October 25, 2013. I stretched for exactly 16 weeks and one day. And honestly, I think this was one of the toughest stretches since being on my healthy hair journey. Not only did I experience lots of shedding in December, my edges began thinning. So I stopped wearing my everyday bun and tight wig cap to see if these things were contributing factors to my thinning edges. I learned later, however, that post-partum shedding was the culprit for my more-than-usual bout of shedding.

Since I had abandoned my bun and heavy weave/wig wearing, I decided to try more low-manipulation styles. I must say, this is the best thing I've done during my stretch. I finally mastered bantu-knot outs and had even started using flexi-rods!

 

As far as products and practices, I've stayed true to keeping it simple. In a nutshell, I cleansed, moisturized, sealed, and protective styled my way through. I did, however, do more deep conditioning with protein conditioners under heat (or while in the shower under a cap). My two favorite light protein conditioners are still Aphogee 2 Minute Reconstructor and ORS Replenishing Conditioner. And because I am on a strict no-buy, I still haven't purchased any new products. I've only repurchased staples.

When winter finally did set in, I started moisturizing with my beloved Elasta QP Olive Oil and Mango Butter Moisturizer. I continued to seal with grapeseed oil nightly or every other night. I also continued to add a drop of JBCO to the ends of my hair every other night after moisturizing and sealing. Since using the grapeseed oil and JBCO, my hair has become much thicker.

The Process

Per my usual relaxer process--I applied the Optimum Care No-Lye Relaxer. Directly after relaxing and rinsing out the relaxer, I applied ORS Replenishing Conditioner to replenish the lost protein.  After rinsing out the protein I neutralized, cleansing thoroughly, and conditioned once more with the conditioner that comes with the relaxer. I then rinsed, squeezing out the excess water with a t-shirt. Then I applied a spray of Aphogee Keratin and Green Tea Reconstructurizer as my leave-in conditioner.  I moisturized and sealed with Elasta QP Olive Oil and Mango Butter Moisturizer and coconut oil, then just a drop of GVP Silk Remedy before wrapping it and putting it in my scarf + bonnet for the night.  

The Results

The day after relaxing, my hair felt soft, yet strong. The shedding had definitely decreased, as I didn't notice many shed hairs as I was taking my hair down. My crown is growing back pretty fast, too. The added protein, low-manipulation styles, and scalp massages have probably contributed to that. So despite the minor challenges in the last few months, I can say that I've seen improvements in my hair health.

In the upcoming months, I will be trying more protective and low-manipulation hairstyles. Since I had so much success with the flexi-rods and bantu-knots, I'm going to try perfecting my braid-outs and perm rod sets. 

I will continue to use JBCO on my edges and ends and implement more ceramides into my regimen. I may take the plunge and buy hempseed oil and wheat germ oil to add to my deep conditioning soon. I will also continue to do scalp massages every other night.

WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR HAIR GOALS?

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE HAIR PRODUCTS?

Hair Journey Update: Fall 2013

Since fall has been upon us for a while and I've recently done a touch-up, it's high time for another Hair Journey update! Sharing updates here on the blog and taking notes has really helped me keep up with my hair goals and needs. While some things have been the same since the last update due to pregnancy, I have seen a few changes as well.  I really think that after using a cocktail of products and practices, I'm starting to learn what my hair likes, hates, and needs.

This is one of the days I wore my hair out.  

I did it up with that side bang from back in the day lol

Hair Stats

Last relaxer: October 25, 2013

Next relaxer: February 1, 2013

Hair Length Goal: Full APL, then BSL

Current Length: APL--except in crown area

Hair Wants: huetiful hair steamer, hempseed oil

Loving: scalp massages, JBCO, and Hair Trigger Growth Elixir

Current Goals:

1. Obtain overall thickness, as opposed to length.

2. Grow back crown breakage. 

3. Try new low-manipulation hairstyles 

(twist-outs and braid-outs)

4. Stick to my routine! Remain consistent in my hair care.

5. Keep it simple- moisturize and seal. cleanse. deep condition.

In remaining consistent, I must make sure to stick to these tasks:

1. Not using any direct heat at all.

2. Moisturize + seal and wear bonnet each night.

3. Deep condition weekly under the dryer.

4. Massage scalp with Hair Trigger 2-3x weekly.

5. Apply JBCO to edges and ends nightly.

6. Use what I have- no purchasing of any new products. 

Exception: running out of staples.

The Stretch

Prior to October 25, 2013, my last relaxer was on July 5, 2013. This time I stretched for 16 weeks, and boy was it tough! Just like with my last stretch, I kept my hair away for the most part.  I moisturized with African Pride Olive Miracle Moisturizer and sealed with grapeseed oil nightly or every other night. I also continued to add a drop of JBCO to the ends of my hair every other night after moisturizing and sealing. With the ceramides from the grapeseed oil and the JBCO, my hair seems to be getting a little thicker!

Unfortunately I didn't get around to trying new protective styles this stretch, either. After a failed bantu-knot attempt, I told myself trying something new now was so not worth it. I was always tired in my last semester of pregnancy, so I gave myself a bit of a break and kept my hair in a bun for the most part. I made sure not to wear my bun in the same position for too long, as I am trying to correct the breakage in my crown.

And of course, as I have mentioned before, the Aloe Vera Mix is absolute love to new growth when the stretch starts to run long. The mix of aloe vera juice, vegetable glycerine, and rosewater made my new growth very soft and a breeze to manage for the remainder of the stretch.

The Process

Per my usual relaxer process--I applied the Optimum Care No-Lye Relaxer. Directly after relaxing and rinsing out the relaxer, I applied the Aphogee 2-Minute Reconstructor to replenish some of the protein that was lost in the process. After rinsing out the protein I neutralized, cleansing thoroughly, and conditioned once more with the conditioner that comes with the relaxer. I then rinsed, squeezing out the excess water with a t-shirt. Then I applied a spray of Aphogee Keratin and Green Tea Reconstructurizer as my leave-in conditioner.  I moisturized and sealed with my African Pride moisturizer and a bit of grapeseed oil, then just a drop of GVP Silk Remedy before wrapping it and putting it in a scarf + bonnet for the night.  

The Results

I think this was the first time my hair has actually felt full after a relaxer.  Usually after I relax, I will air-dry and take my hair down the next morning (with the exception of my spring relax). Instead of combing down limp, lifeless hair, it seemed to have a bit of thickness to it. This NEVER happens after a relaxer. It also felt stronger too, like I had just had a protein treatment.  

Everything is looking great so far. While I don't think I've had a tremendous amount of growth, others around me notice that my hair has definitely grown.  I think I'm finally APL everywhere except in my crown area. I do have a game plan on getting it back on track, though. I'll share more about that in a post next week.

In the upcoming months, I will be looking to finally test out these protective and low-manipulation hairstyles.  For one, I am tired of wearing a bun. And for two, I need a break from my wigs and weaves for a little while also. I'm either going to try again with the bantu knots or try to perfect the twist-out and braid-out. And if that doesn't work out, I'm getting braids or a sew-in. I will update with pics in whatever choices I make so stay tuned (for real this time lol)!

I will still be using my JBCO for my edges and ends, I will still find more ways to add ceramides into my regimen (more than likely deep conditioning with oils), and I will continue to do scalp massages every other day with Hair Trigger Growth Elixir.  Look out for a review on the Hair Trigger Growth Elixir soon, too :-)

WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR HAIR GOALS?

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE HAIR PRODUCTS?

Hair Journey Update: Summer 2013

Summer is here and for me and my hair journey goals, it's time for another Hair Journey update! I've been on this journey for a couple of years now, complete with its peaks and valleys.  Nonetheless, I'm continuing to make note of everything going on with my hair through journaling and sharing updates here on the blog with you guys.  I've enjoyed reading so many of your hair journey related blog posts, so I hope I can get some feedback from you guys concerning mine!

Hair Characteristics: (Thanks Fancy Flair Lady)

Curl? Relaxed

Strand Thickness? Fine

Porosity? High Porosity

Overall Hair Density/Volume? Thin

Chemical Treatments? No-Lye Relaxer

Hair Stats: (Thanks Worldly-Journey)

Last relaxer: July 5, 2013

Next relaxer: October 11, 2013

Last Trim: ???

Current Hair Goal: Obtaining overall thickness; Growing back crown breakage

Hair Length Goal: Full APL, then BSL

Current Length: Grazing APL--much shorter in the crown

Recent Purchases: Hair Trigger Growth Elixir

Hair Needs: Repurchasing of HE LTR Leave-In Conditioner (my favorite summer time moisturizer)

Trying Out: Pre-pooing and Scalp Massages with Hair Trigger Growth Elixir

Disliking: My thin ends

The goals I set for myself this year are as follows:

1. Achieve APL length by Summer 2013  ✓

2. Try new low-manipulation hair styles (such as roller sets, twist-outs and braid-outs)

3. Stick to my routine! Remain consistent in my hair care.

4. Achieve more thickness to my relaxed hair, as opposed to length (new goal as of Spring 2013)

In remaining consistent, I must make sure to stick to these tasks:

1. Only one heat pass per 6 weeks.  Try not to use any direct heat at all.

2. Moisturize and seal nightly.

3. Deep condition weekly under the dryer.

4. Massage scalp with hot oil mix Hair Trigger 2-3x weekly.

5. Baby my edges with JBCO nightly.

6. ALWAYS sleep with my scarf or bonnet on. No excuses!

The Stretch

Prior to July 5, 2013, my last relaxer was on March 29, 2013.   So this stretch lasted 14 weeks, which was 2 weeks less than my last stretch.  During my 14 week stretch, I think I've been consistent with my regimen, considering I kept my hair away for the most part.  I moisturized with my Herbal Essences LTR Leave-In until it ran out and then started using African Pride Olive Miracle Moisturizer. Instead of sealing my moisturizer with jojoba oil, I've been using strictly grapeseed oil. Grapeseed oil contains ceramides, something I felt I needed to add to my hair care regimen if I wanted to achieve thicker relaxed hair.  And I must say I'm already noticing a difference as my ends weren't as see-through as before.  To take it a step further, I added a drop of JBCO to the ends of my hair every other night after moisturizing and sealing. It seems to be doing the trick!

excuse the "just got out of bed" look lol

I will admit I've had a lot of lazy days during this stretch. When I didn't feel like doing anything to my hair, I simply spritzed my Aloe Vera Mix all over my hair and put it in a bun.  If you haven't heard me rave enough about the Aloe Vera Mix, let me tell you it is very moisturizing and makes my new growth so soft!  And I made sure not to wear my bun in the same position for too long, as I am trying to correct the breakage in my crown.

I also started using Hair Trigger Growth Elixir in May, as I wanted to try something new for my hair.  I think it may be too soon to see if my hair has had a huge amount of growth due to this product, but I can say that my new growth got super thick really fast! And I got the honeydew melon scent added to my elixir so I have received a lot of compliments on how great my hair smells. 

I've also made sure to add some protein to my regimen this stretch also. I decided to re-up on my Aphogee Green Tea & Keratin and 2-Minute Reconstructor.  Both have helped decrease any shedding I was experiencing before and my hair really does feel fuller after using them.

The Results

I was pretty pleased with my results from this stretch.  I can't say that I've seen a dramatic amount of growth, but it was not as thin as it was after the last relaxer.  Of course, I decided not to flat-iron anymore, whether I wanted badly to measure growth or not. Following my final rinse (after the relaxer process), I sprayed my hair with my Aphogee Leave-In, moisturized with my African Pride Olive Miracle Moisturizer, sealed with coconut oil, and followed up with a tiny drop of GVC Silk Remedy all over my hair.  I loved how soft and shiny my hair was the next morning after I took my bonnet and scarf off.  

In the upcoming months, I'm still gonna be focusing more on the overall health of my hair.  I'll be adding more ceramides to my regimen as well as making sure my moisture/protein levels are balanced so that I can achieve the thickness that I desire. Paying close attention to my crown is also a main objective of mine, as I will make sure to give it just as much moisture as I do the rest of my hair and refrain from doing styles that will create tension in the crown area.  Hopefully I will finally style my hair in a few braid-outs or twist-outs also. And last but not least, I will also continue to baby my fragile ends with JBCO.

ARE YOU ON A HEALTHY HAIR JOURNEY?

WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR HAIR GOALS?

Hair Journey Update: Spring 2013

Starting at the beginning of the year, I decided to join Traycee's KISS Boot Camp Challenge on the K.I.S.S. site. I have been on a hair journey for quite some time, and have had quite a few challenges while on the journey.  Nonetheless, I've learned a lot about my hair and what it likes as well as what it doesn't like.  I've even built a pretty basic regimen that I tend to tweak from time to time (depending on the changing of seasons and discovering new hair needs). I felt that taking part in this challenge would be great because I had already set goals for myself this year.  Joining the challenge gave me a way to hold myself accountable for my goals and chart my progress.  I also decided it would be cool to share a blog post with you guys every season to let you know how I'm doing with my hair goals.

The goals I set for myself this year are as follows:
1. Achieve APL length by Summer 2013
2. Try new low-manipulation hair styles (such as roller sets, twist-outs and braid-outs)
3. Don't buy a new hair product without completely using up another.
4. Stick to my routine! Remain consistent in my hair care.

In remaining consistent, I must make sure to stick to these tasks:
1. Use the least amount of direct heat as possible.  Only one heat pass per 6 weeks.
2. Moisturize and seal nightly.
3. Deep condition weekly under the dryer.
4. Massage scalp with hot oil mix 2-3X weekly.
5. Baby my edges with JBCO nightly.
6. ALWAYS sleep with my scarf or bonnet on. No excuses!

The Stretch
My last relaxer was on December 6, 2012.   So my stretch lasted exactly 16 weeks and one day.  During my 16 week stretch, I've been pretty consistent with my regimen.  I started moisturizing with my Elasta QP Olive Oil & Mango Moisturizer instead of the Herbal Essences LTR Leave-In because I felt that the Elasta QP was more moisturizing for the cold winter months.  I even tried the LOC method I saw Sdestra use after washes.  My liquid of choice was my Aloe Vera Mix, the oil was alternated between Jojoba and Grapeseed Oil, and my cream was of course the Elasta QP Moisturizer.  All in all,  I love how it locked the moisture into my hair! This is a practice  I will probably continue doing after each clarifying wash.

One thing I regret is that I didn't do much styling.  Something came along mid January and started sapping all of my energy, making me only want to wear my hair in a bun.  So if my hair wasn't in a ninja bun on the top of my head, it was probably pinned in a bun to the back.  And if I left the house wanting to look extra, I put on my blonde shorty-do I like to call Susie. I guess this approach made it very easy to just leave my hair alone and keep things simple!

ladies, meet Susie! lol

Two things I've noticed that my hair loves a lot during the stretch are my scalp massages and the aloe vera mix.  In fact, I can almost guarantee that the scalp massages aided in growth.  In my scalp massage oil mix, I use my three favorite oils: peppermint oil, jamaican black castor oil, and coconut oil.  I gently massaged the oil mix in my scalp 2-3 nights weekly and boy did the new growth get thick on me quick!  But the beautiful thing about my new growth was that my aloe vera mix made it soft, gave it great curl definition, and made it so easy to manage.  

The Results
I will admit that I was only partially pleased with my results from this stretch.  While I could tell that my hair had grown since my last relaxer, it definitely looked a bit thin. Perhaps this was because  I never use heat on my hair, and I flat ironed my hair after washing and conditioning this time.  I haven't used a flat-iron in over a year, so I was amazed at how bone-straight and thin it was.  I guess I was so eager to see the accurate length that I couldn't wait for it to air-dry.  I probably won't be doing that again! But I can say that I am pleased that I'm finally grazing APL. I've haven't passed SL hair since I cut it from APL at the start of high school!

Another great thing I have noticed, is that when I add the protein step into my relaxer regimen, my hair feels so much stronger!  And there was hardly any shedding.  I've added a light protein (ORS Replenishing Conditioner or Aphogee Two Minute Reconstructor) before neutralizing with my last three relaxers and I will never go back to relaxing without this step.

In the upcoming months, I will focus more on the overall health of my hair.  I'm trying to get some thickness going on about my tresses, so I will be doing more research and perhaps tweaking a few products so that I can achieve the thickness that I desire. I will also pay close attention to my fragile ends as well.

ARE YOU ON A HEALTHY HAIR JOURNEY?

WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR HAIR GOALS?

My Updated Hair Care Regimen

I can't believe it's been almost a year since I've shared anything about my hair journey on the blog!  I looked in my hair journal this morning and saw that I've switched a few things up since my last share, so I decided to share an updated regimen.  Also I'm taking part in Traycee's 2013 KISS Boot Camp Challenge so making note of these changes on the blog helps me stay on task and remain accountable.  Check out the details below.

Daily: Moisturize and seal.  

Nightly, I moisturize my hair and seal it with oil. Then I wrap or pin my hair, covering it with a silk scarf.  2-3 times a week I do scalp massages, using a fusion of coconut oil, castor oil, and peppermint oil (which stimulates the scalp).

Moisturizers I Use:

Herbal Essences Long Term Relationship 

Elasta QP Olive Oil & Mango Butter Moisturizer (alternate with the above)

Wave Nouveau Moisturizing Lotion (during long stretches)

Various Oils I Use:

Castor Oil, Jamaican Black Castor Oil, Sweet Almond Oil, Coconut Oil, Peppermint Oil, Tea Tree Oil, Jojoba Oil

Weekly: Washing/Co-Washing, Deep Conditioning

On Sunday, I clean my hair by co-washing (washing with conditioner) or shampooing with a moisturizing shampoo such as Nexxus Therappe.

On Wednesday, I clean my hair by co-washing again. After co-washing, I deep condition my hair, rinse, apply leave-in conditioner, moisturize and seal, and place in a protective style (usually a bun).

I always air-dry unless I’m away from home.

Conditioners Used for Co-Washing:

Hair One Hair Cleanser and Conditioner with Tea Tree Oil

Herbal Essences Hello Hydration Conditioner

Conditioners Used for Deep Conditioning:

Nexxus Humectress infused with Coconut Oil, Castor Oil and Peppermint Oil

Herbal Essences Hello Hydration infused with Coconut Oil, Castor Oil, and Peppermint Oil

Bi-Monthly: Hot Oil Treatment 

I do this more often in the Winter months, as my scalp and hair are more prone to dryness in the Winter.  This hot-oil treatment is usually a mix of Jojoba Oil, Coconut Oil,  Castor Oil, and Peppermint Oil.  

Monthly: Clarifying Wash, and Protein Deep Conditioning

Once monthly, I do a clarifying wash with ORS Aloe Shampoo. I also deep condition with a light protein conditioner such as ORS Replenishing Conditioner infused with Castor Oil and Peppermint Oil. Afterwards, I apply leave-in conditioner, moisturize and seal, and place in a protective style.

4 x Annually: Relaxer and Protective Style

I relax by using Motions No-Lye Relaxer. Before applying neutralizer, I rinse relaxer from hair and apply a light protein to the hair such as Aphogee 2 Minute Reconstructor. This replenishes the protein I lost from the relaxing process. I let it stay on for 5 minutes, then continue with the neutralizing and deep conditioning process. Afterwards, I apply a leave-in conditioner, moisturize and seal, and place hair in a protective style.

Use as needed: Hair Spritzer

To keep my hair moisturized, especially during stretches, I spritz my hair with a mix of aloe vera juice, rosewater and vegetable glycerine.  It helps with detangling also.  Find out more about the mix here.

**My Hair Essentials**

silk scarf/bonnet (to protect my hair from moisture-stripping cotton)

plastic caps (for deep conditioning)

one a day women's multi-vitamin (self-explanatory)

biotin (growth aid I've been using on and off -but mostly on)
plastic applicator bottles and spray bottles (to apply products to hair)

**About My Hair**

Relaxed

Between Shoulder Length and Armpit Length

Type: 4A

**Protective Styling**

Sew-Ins

Half-Wigs

Buns

**Hair Goals**

Thicker, healthier hair

Middle Back Length (MBL)

What is your current hair care regimen? 

My Hair Care Regimen

In earlier posts, I shared with you guys that I was journeying towards healthier hair. Since I don't post much about hair care, I wanted to start doing so. I recently got my hair trimmed to shoulder-length all over in an attempt to start fresh with my damage from breakage. As a beginning point, I would like to share with you a few details about my new, improved journey:

I Am Not My Hair, I Am Not My Curves

Sometimes I wonder as a woman of color, why I am most often perceived to be a certain way because of my size or because of my hairstyle.  I know that first impressions mean everything in our society, but some portions of my appearance are given to me by my parents.  I have no bearing on how the presence of curves or kinky-curly-coily-relaxed hair makes people feel about me.

See, I was at a point where I didn't know how to feel about my outer appearance.  Being a woman in general should be the equivalent of being born with a crown adorning your head (in my opinion).  And being a woman of color, makes me a special kind of woman, as my mother taught me.  But the way women of color are portrayed in the media speaks just the opposite.  Why was this, I wondered?

Deciding how to wear my hair has always taken special consideration.  Should I or should I not wear my hair this way or that was an everyday battle.  Sometimes I felt that I could not embrace the creative impulses within me to sport a curly afro or braids to social functions with people who are not of color.  I have always played it safe with relaxed hair and opted to add flowing tracks in order to "fit in".  Was this because of my own insecurities or were these insecurities forced upon me by society?

Not only was I having insecurities about my hair, I was feeling some type of way about my weight.  Standing at 5'4, I'm sure some medical guidelines somewhere state that I should be about 133 lbs.  The truth of the matter is, I haven't weighed 133 lbs. since my senior year of high school.  Since I have had my two children I have been carrying a voluptuous 155 lb. frame.  I had a flat stomach and was "thick" in all the right places according to the "men-folk".  However, since I have moved to a new location and have been doing the full-time work, school, and mom thing, I now weigh in at 180.  And I am thick in all the wrong places.  Funny thing is, I was still walking around in all my fabulousness and splendor until one of my friends busted my bubble.  My Vietnamese guy friend told me that I was close to obesity, if not already.  I cursed a blue streak and was angered for a minute!

So lately I've been doing a bit of self-reflection.  This has required me to look deep within in order to love and accept myself in my natural, genuine state.  The good part is that I am learning to love myself as God uniquely made me.  The even better part is that I have admitted there is room for improvement in quite a few areas of my life.  I have recently started a new workout regimen, not because some man said I was overweight, but because I was making unhealthy lifestyle choices.  I have also started eating healthier.  And I have also started a new happy hair journey, thanks to lots of researching on the interwebs and late-night YouTube binge-watching.  Though I could care less what people think of my hairstyles now, I do have to take care of it and keep it healthy so that I will still have most of it when I'm graying.

But most importantly, I am realizing that my greatest qualities are my creativity, my heart of gold, and my compassion.  Neither of these things will be noticed by doing a once-over at my figure or my long or short tresses.  As India Arie stated, along with a remix of my own, I AM NOT MY HAIR, I AM NOT MY CURVES! Nevertheless, I do love them both!

Photo Credit: Raquel Santana on Unsplash